Wednesday, November 16, 2011

The Day I Became Radioactive...kinda

It all started with this:

3 large bottles of barium contrast aka breakfast.
Me being the hypochondriac that I am, I spent countless hours googling and you tubing and web md'ing CT Scans and Barium Swallows.
Countless forums and videos of gagging & vomiting later
I decided that this morning would be the worst day of my life.

When I arrived at the office the receptionist scurried to the mini-fridge and pulled out each bottle of death. Slightly chilled with about an inch of powder settled on the bottom.
I asked for a straw and took my seat next to my cheering squad (mom).
And it began...I was to drink each bottle in 15 minute intervals..ha yeah right.
The taste you ask? Well....the only way I can describe it is a slightly cool, Children's Dimatap tasting, chalky, melted milkshake.
I got mostly through the first bottle without gagging...just the occasional shiver of disgust.
Each bottle I left a tiny bit and my mom would discretely throw it in the trash.

By my third bottle it was getting unbearable...Half way through I had the biggest gag of the day and I was done. I refused to vomit all of that liquid up in the waiting room.
Just about then my name was called..phew!

When I got to the Scan room I was asked to put on the ever stylish, backless robe.
Ready for the easy part, I sat down on the bed waiting like a champ until the technician looked at my half full bottle and asked me to finish it...I tried and couldn't force it down so she gave me
a cup of water to drink.
Next she administered an IV that would shoot dye into me and make the pictures more visible.
"Okay, Mrs. Lopez, I'm going to put something in the IV to see if its working. You are going to taste what a skunk smells like for a little while."
I laughed thinking she was trying to lighten the mood.
She wasn't. I tasted Skunk.
"Alright, that's done with. Now I'll administer the Dye. You will feel yourself start to warm up starting at your throat and ending in your pelvis. It will feel like you're wetting yourself, but you aren't."
This time I took her seriously. Only seconds after she pushed the liquid through the IV my cheeks felt flushed and my throat felt thick and warm and WHAM! I was "wetting" myself.
(Not really, but it sure felt that way)
It was the strangest feeling ever.

She then scooted into the next room to start the scan.
I was shot in and out of the little tunnel a couple times before she returned.
"Mrs. Lopez, your stomach isn't quite full enough. Please chug this glass of water"
I was ready to explode...I already felt I was peeing all over the bed!
I choked it down, finished the test and made a mad dash to the restroom.
Now I'm home, drinking more water trying to flush this stuff out of me.

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